It all started when our antagonizing protagonist, Bill Brasky, woke up in a swamp.It was the fifth time it had happened.
She was an admirable, delightful, cocoa drinker with handsome toes and slimy abs. Her friends saw her as an attractive, average author. Once, she had even helped a quick old lady cross the road.
Suddenly cheered up by the Hamtaro theme song, he realized that his beloved iPad was missing! Immediately he called his enemy in training, Leroy Jenkins. Bill Brasky had known Leroy Jenkins for (plus or minus) 61 years, the majority of which were exotic ones.
He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Bill Brasky. Why was Leroy Jenkins trying to distract Bill Brasky? Because he had snuck out from Bill Brasky’s with the iPad only ten days prior. It was
a eccentric little iPad… how could he resist? It didn’t take long before Bill Brasky got back to the subject at hand: his iPad. Relunctantly, Leroy Jenkins invited him over, assuring him they’d find the iPad.
Bill Brasky grabbed his canoe and disembarked immediately.
After hanging up the phone, Leroy Jenkins realized that he was in trouble. Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Leroy Jenkins was interrupted by five abrasive marmots that were lured by his iPad. Leroy Jenkins sneezed; ‘Not again’.
- Feeling angered, he fearlessly reached for his carrot and poked every last one of them.
- Apparently this was an adequate deterrent–the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the haunted thicket, squealing with discontent.
- He exhaled with relief. That’s when he heard the Segway rolling up. It was Bill Brasky.
Bill Brasky was pleased. And so, everyone except Leroy Jenkins and a few ebola-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.
Bill Brasky tripped with joy when he saw this. His iPad was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Two and a Half Men, was going to come on (followed immediately by ‘When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus’).